Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
