I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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