I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
