Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I have aggressive nipples.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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