Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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