apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
