we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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