at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I want her autograph on my taint
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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