I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
birth control should be required to get into college
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
