I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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