Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize