I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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