I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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