Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
