are you so shy because you have an std?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
