your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
