oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.