i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is