So drunk, too bad you don't want this
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
