I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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