What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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