how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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