You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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