are you so shy because you have an std?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
