I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
