honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
