Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize