Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize