It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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