she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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