I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
