Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
