He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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