Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
