it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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