I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
