As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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