You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
