I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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