you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
