I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
