; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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