okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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