I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize