It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
