Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its not stalking. its research.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
