I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
