That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize