My hand turned me down
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
