Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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