He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
