You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
