Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were destined to go to rehab together
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
