I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Operation Purity has been aborted
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize