drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
