So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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