I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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