he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
