I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
