I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
