you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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