eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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