A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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